A Redwood By JPR

Is just a really big fucking tree stuck out in the middle of bum fucking Egypt. 

That oddly reminds me of myself, as it's perfectly isolated and never feels the need to overstate the obvious.

As it kind of overshadows everything in its vicinity by default. 

Don't be jealous but keep this in mind.

Of course it's easy to stand tall at six four when mostly your contemporaries,

on their tip toes, stand five two. 

 I'm sorry, do I offend you? 

Hey don't get short with me. 

It's not your fault our roots run deep and this is but metaphorically speaking. 

But the issue may be good genetics; of course, 

it helps my family’s tree actually forks. 

Get it?

JPR, currently, is seeking Susan but not desperately. He is also touring the country as part of Corey Feldman's band, for-which at every event he hands out free earplugs and autographed barf bags. His work has been published in Esquire and Screw magazine, both esteemed literary publications. He once went ice fishing with Bert & Ernie. He found a wallet once in his pants and quickly returned it to himself right away. He once worked in Hollywood...... Florida as a greeter at Gary's Mortuary. He is also on a first name basis with the Lochness Monster, although they have never actually met. He also holds the title of the greatest bio writer in history...... He is tired now and will go have his Capri Sun Juice Box. Nah, nah, you can't have one.