I Beat Up The Football Team by John Patrick Robbins

And screwed half the cheerleaders just for good measure.

Pulled the fire alarm for lack of anything better to do.
Dated that teacher because I enjoyed driving her car.

I never made state but I have wrestled with more than a few.
Got wasted at prom and spiked the punch.

They really should have expelled me at the time.

Of course I wasn't attending the school but my sixteen year old girlfriend was

Man, I really enjoyed going back to high school in my thirties.

Who said a little do over isn't good for the soul.

I'm always guilty and damn proud of it.

Wink wink.

John Patrick Robbins is the editor in chief of of the universe .

He controls all time and thought and secretly created the matrix.

He still holds the world record for teleportation to a alternate universe where people still have a sense of humor and aren't such sensitive pussies.

He has been published in the yellow pages for many years and on a special list with his only true friend Scott Simmons which requires them both to maintain a safe distance from sheep farms.

He enjoys playing with black magic and writing bios that are often longer than the write he submits.

He is also the writer in residence at Dollywood.