The Dregs. By John Doyle

 Last time I looked

I knew the last place they'd be

was the bottom of a pitcher

out of fizz, out of time, out of wives,

waiting for a refill from God

who they told last night to go fuck himself,

but he was busy teleporting back to the 1880s

to save several villages from scarlet fever

so didn't have the time to damn their eyes,

so the ex-Polish army guy checking I.D. at the door

waiting to cut loose

was willing on behalf of management

to go fuck their lives up instead

for a roof to lie low under for the next few nights,

at least until it all died down, of course

John Doyle became a Mod again in the summer of 2017 to fight off his impending mid-life crisis; whether this has been a success remains to be seen. He has has two collections published to date, A Stirring at Dusk in 2017, and Songs for Boys Called Wendell Gomez in 2018, both on PSKI's Porch. 

He is based in Maynooth, County Kildare, Ireland. All he asks is that you leave your guns at the door and tie up your horses before your enter.

Woonsocket Wine by Dan Provost

She was the hero for alley-living
normalcy.

Trying to pamper cold,
winded face with stolen
makeup.

Some men would give
her a doubletake.

A chancy review for
some oral frustration…

“What the hell, the wife
is getting old.”

“Getting stale.”
“Why not a quickie for twenty bucks?”

A standard justification for the
middle-aged guy…

Her mouth provided a service…

A five minute kneel down that
left everyone satisfied.

Spit, gargle, repeat the process

“Be on your way child.”
She would command Mr. Sucker...

Soon, Ms. Cleavage
would be observing
her next victim.

Or plotting another scheme.
Passing stolen checks to
buy some Woonsocket Wine.

The vocation is
not glamorous.

Your high school Guidance
Counselor never explained
the options of ending up
in this career.

But, I guess, you have
to live anyway you can.
Find something you’re good at
and enjoy…

After all, if you love what
you’re doing…

Is it really work?

Dan Provost's poetry has been published throughout the small press for a number of years.  Some recent publications include: Ariel Chart, Poetical Review, Merak Magazine, Oddball Magazine, Deuce Coupe, Misfit Magazine, the Rye Whiskey Review, Cajun Mutt Press and the Dope Fiend Daily.  He has two books coming out in 2020.  Under the Influence of Nothingness by Kung Fu Treachery Press and Rattle of a Realizer, published by Whiskey City Press.  He lives in Berlin, New Hampshire with his wife Laura and dog Bella.

I'm So Nice by Scott Simmons

Why did the chicken cross the road?

A:I don't give a shit.

What's black, white, and red all over?

A:I also don't give a shit.

So what do those two jokes have in common with you?

Read my other answers and maybe you'll find out.

Can't you just tell that I love you? 

Scott Simmons is a humorist/poet from Houston Texas and is also the editor of The Dope Fiend Daily. His works can be found at Ariel Chart, Under The Bleachers, The Anti Heroin Chic, Horror Sleaze Trash, Duanes Poetree, Medusas Kitchen, and Drinkers Only. His "artwork" can also be found on instagram at deranged_texan

No, I Am Not a Bestseller by Ryan Quinn Flanagan

She found out I wrote sometimes
and asked me if I was a best seller
even though I was wearing that same German
army surplus jacket I had been sporting
for the last twenty years.
She told me she worked in real-estate
and I asked her if she was a best seller,
if her clients just paid her commission off the books
in blood diamonds, how the Fortune 500 was doing these days?
She seemed confused, did not want an autograph anymore.
I was a very mean man now,
though she could never tell you why.
Just made her feel that way.
Like the thought of global warming.

Ryan Quinn Flanagan is a Canadian-born author residing in Elliot Lake, Ontario, Canada with his wife and many bears that rifle through his garbage.  His work can be found both in print and online in such places as: Evergreen Review, The New York Quarterly, The Rye Whiskey Review, Outlaw Poetry Network, Horror Sleaze Trash, The Dope Fiend Daily and In Between Hangovers.